One week of sketches. What I am learning in this process is that I really need to spend time focusing on things that are not anarchism and are not the work.
Shortly before committing to a month of daily sketchtes, I created the initial draft of my Links List (which is still a WIP). And that list made it glaringly obvious that my life was out of balance. The sections on Anarchism, Anarcha-Feminism+, Liberation Movements, and so on — while certainly not complete — each had numerous entries.
Art had one listing. Writing had (and still has) only one. DIY & Repair? At that time it had none.
More than the work
This isn’t me. I’m more than just the work.1 But why were most of the bookmarks I had readily to hand tilted so heavily toward anarchist/liberatory theory — which is important — and tilted so heavily away from everything else in my life — which is also important.
I think the answer to that is likely complex, but a remedy is simple: focus more on other things. Like sketching. Like sketching things I like, which aren’t anarchism.
To be clear, the point here is not to fill out the neglected areas of the Links Lists — those gaps are just a symptom.
The point is to fill out the neglected areas of my life. Because looking at the Links List was like looking at a reflection of the shape of my mind. And the shape is currently out of balance.
If I can’t dance
In this era of my life, defined as it is by chronic illness, I’m not likely to dance in this revolution. But there is joy and passion and vibrancy in creating art, in writing, in connecting with the animals and plants and other organisms with whom we share this world. With whom we create this world.
And so I’ve developed a secondary goal for daily sketching this month: not only will I draw one sketch a day, but I’ll also make sure that sketch is of something I feel affinity with which is not centered on anarchism or the work.
I’m not cutting anarchism out of these sketches entirely, because anarchism is a part of me. And let’s be real, leaving it out entirely is not realistic.
The point is not to turn away from anarchism, but to center other elements of my life. And those elements do, in turn, feed into my understanding and practice of anarchism. Just as they feed my well-being, which also feeds into the work.
You know how you can’t pour from an empty cup? Well, my cup needs DIY and wildflowers and sitting beside the river. Or I’m going to hit burnout. Again. Which doesn’t help with the work. And which is not, quite frankly, a liberatory approach. I’m not afraid to push my health right up to the limit — I do it gladly — but trying to push beyond that doesn’t do anyone any good.
When the cup is filled
I’ve been batting around an idea for a design for a while now (weeks? months?), but I couldn’t visualize it well enough to put stylus to tablet and sketch anything out. This is burnout, and this is lack of balance.
At the end of this week, moved by the heartbreak of the day, but also fueled by well-being that I had fostered through daily sketching of things I love, I was able to produce a very rough sketch of a design that had been eluding me.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free. Wreathed in plants of Palestine, and reflected in the waters: Free Palestine.
When I was ready to sketch this WIP, the reflection in the water was just right there, conceptually, waiting for me to engage with it.
Where I now live, I spend a lot of time looking at the river, or at photos I’ve taken of the river. And now with two recent sketches of the river, I feel even more connected to it.
Where you are becomes who you are;2 the watershed is part of you just as you are part of it. The art I am creating today is not only about this place, it is of this place, and it has been a journey to get here.3
Where to go from here
There’s a lot to develop, and I’m excited for it. The Art and Writing and DIY sections of the Links List still need attention, though it feels less dire now that I’m connecting with those elements of my life. The whole Links List needs more attention, even the more robust sections, and I’m eager for that as well.
I’m excited to continue developing the Free Palestine design for fundraising — maybe a sticker, maybe a bandana? We’ll find out.
And I’m excited to see what the next weeks of sketching will bring, and how I will develop as an artist and as a person. The last few years have been a speed run on getting to live the life I want to live and be the person I want to be, and so far this month of sketching seems as packed full of development as that has been. As life is now. And I am intensely grateful I get to experience it. Thanks for reading.
- Though, to be clear, the work is a lot of who I am. ↩
- Where you have been is who you are as well; I have spent many hours among orange trees and herbs and other plants that love Mediterranean climates (like the climate of Palestine, where I have never been, like the climate of the so-called San Francisco Bay Area, where I lived almost my entire adult life). And it shows in my art. Those oranges were also right there, and it didn’t really have much to do with what I had or had not been sketching this week. ↩
- I’ll share about this journey at some point; wresting myself from the great estuary of the Bay Area which feeds into the so-called Pacific, and finding myself here, in this beautiful river valley with is florid, vibrant watershed, has been an intensely challenging transition. ↩
